America: Fuck Yeah? Thoughts From The Morning After

When I first heard the news about the killing of Bin Laden, I actually texted a friend asking “Do you think anyone will care?”  I figured enough time had passed and, with our current problems being much greater, the news would be met with a healthy, but somber feeling of justice and piece of mind. 

Boy was I wrong. 

If you’ve been watching the news, you’ve been bombarded with images of parties in the streets and exclamations from American citizens regarding their American pride.  And though I may sound like a complete asshole for saying this, and fully admit I may be downplaying the event, I think its sad that a murder of a terrorist who got lucky ten years ago and hasn’t been relevant since is what makes someone “proud to be an American.”

9/11 was no doubt a horrific tragedy, one that accounted for a tremendous loss of life and one that changed the landscape of America both socially and politically.  But, as mentioned in my previous post, the murder of Osama doesn’t change any of that.  Not even a little.  In fact, I doubt anyone went to bed last week fearing the wrath of Osama Bin Laden.  After the 9/11 attacks occurred, he went off to hide in Pakistan while Al Qaeda was given for too much credit as a legitimate threat.  Now, ten years later, we found the apparent mastermind of the attacks and American citizens are parading through the streets as if he was the sole reason for all that ails us. 

But he’s not.  I’m honestly surprised that public reaction was not more reserved.  It’s great that justice was served, but I’m not sure why death is ever celebrated.  I’m glad it brings piece of mind to families that lost loved ones, but the death of Osama certainly will never bring them back.  It serves as another building block towards the recovery of the American psyche, but the public outcries of “don’t mess with America” into TV cameras comes off as bullyish (for lack of a better term) and proves our priorities are entirely out of whack. 

I think it’s telling that the Osama murder happened the same weekend as the royal wedding in England.  British citizens took to the streets to celebrate their British heritage through a symbol of family, love, and companionship.  While the event to cause Americans to do the same is the murder of an inept terrorist leader that has barely been heard from in a decade.

Excuse me if this strikes me as disappointing. 

Thoughts On Our Views Of The Osama Killing

I don’t have anything all that earth shattering to say about the Bin Laden murder itself, but I have found the reaction to the news by both the media and the public (at least through Facebook and Twitter) to be quite interesting. 

Obviously, after 9/11, Osama bin Laden became the face behind the tragedy and the image we as America focused our anger on (for good reason).  The man, the image, and his action easily changed the course of US history.  Without 9/11, we certainly never go into Afghanistan and probably never revisit Iraq.  9/11 obviously changed the course of our foreign policy and easily affected our domestic culture as well (today’s economy/state of mind/cultural zeitgeist, etc)

But whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?  After watching a few different news stations, I heard them all say something to the effect of “everyone will remember where they were today” and I’m not sure why.  Though Osama was the architect of the most devastating attack on American soil, there hasn’t really been any relevant Al Queda attack since.  And from everything we know, he was essentially marginalized as a leader while hiding out, while other sects gained power.  Not to mention, Osama was hardly the leader of an army, he headed a group that, more or less, got lucky on September 11^th, 2001.  Had hijacking protocol been different (and it changed by that afternoon), we’d all remember that day much differently.   He never posed a Soviet/German like threat against America, even if we were led to believe otherwise.

In a time when we, as a public, need good news, I suppose this can pass for some.  After all, this death will bring some kind of closure for everyone who lost a love one during 9/11, even if it’s bittersweet.  But the media is making this moment bigger than it really is.  We aren’t leaving Afghanistan tomorrow.  Iraq is still going to be a shit hole.  Our airports won’t be free and easy by the end of the week.  This won’t fix the economy. The black cloud over America isn’t dissipating. And, most of all, terrorism isn’t going away any time soon. This doesn’t compare to Hitler killing himself at the end of World War 2.  His action, unfortunately, remains and our reaction to his action will not erase or change. 

So, yes, this is a historical moment of some sort and if it provides a boost in morale, then it’s a good thing.  (I certainly don’t weep for Osama Bin Laden, even if I do find the celebration of death to be a little odd).  But I’d love for someone to explain why this is a huge deal beyond symbolic measures.

I’d like to be convinced otherwise.  What are people celebrating exactly beyond chasing a ghost? I don't write this post from the point of view of a contrarian, I actually would just love to hear some thoughts because my gut reaction to the news was, it seems, much different from most.

Would They Go To Islands? Subject One: Kate Middleton

I want to introduce a fun (hopefully), new recurring subject for the blog.  Actually, an incredibly important subject that explores whether or not certain people would like to join my friend Jenn and I for a weekday lunch at our favorite Hawaiian themed neighborhood chain eatery, Islands. 

For those who do not live in CA, NV, CO, AZ, or HI, or are unfamiliar with the restaurant, ISLANDS is a typical kitsch chain similar in quality to TGI Fridays or Applebee’s.  Actually, I’ll just copy and paste their carefully worded description from their website:

Who Needs Hawaii?

“Islands Restaurants was founded in 1982 with a basic philosophy – serve great, fresh food with friendly service in a fun atmosphere. Entrepreneur Tony DeGrazier had a vision of a restaurant that would offer a simple, original menu featuring gourmet hamburgers, specialty drinks and a fun, tropical theme. In fact, he wanted to recreate the dining experiences he had in the 1960s while stationed in Oahu with his Navy buddies.”

Oh, and does it ever.  Each time I go to Islands and someone later asks me where I went to lunch, they respond: “ugh … why?” like I personally offended them.  Then follow it up by squinching their face and saying “Islands” in such a way that suggests just the word itself produces gas pains and nausea. Regardless of its apparent uninspiring menu, Jenn and I eat there once a week as one is conveniently located near work, and we enjoy the simple food underneath the “cabana” while watching surfers on the few HD screens nearby. 

And sometimes during these visits, we wonder who might enjoy accompanying us.

So, hmmm, how about the world’s newest princess, Kate Middleton?

"The highlight of my trip to LA," she'd no doubt say

Kate just enjoyed the wedding of a lifetime.  In fact, over two billion people watched her get married (either in person or on television) in what has to have been one of the most, if not most, lavish weddings of all time.  I can’t even imagine what its like date high royalty for eight years, but I figure in that time she grew accustom to opulent restaurants, first rate cuisine, and a certain expectation.

Having said that, Kate Middleton was not groomed for this lifestyle.  In fact, from what I understand, prior to her family’s financial success, she was raised solidly middle class.  Considering this, I’m sure she was treated to a number of home-cooked meals, but also special nights out at neighborhood chain restaurants where the family could split burgers, fries (or fish and chips), and perhaps a laugh or two. And maybe Princess Kate is nostalgic.  I can imagine her eating a burger, slumping back in her chair, and mumbling “ahh, this reminds me of my childhood” in between chews.  Plus, I’m confident she’d admire the fake palm trees and beach décor on the walls considering England is far from tropical. 

But why would a princess waste her time with people like me and Jenn?  I mean, really, who are we? Well a princess is supposed to treat her subjects with respect, and even though we do not live in England, I do not believe she’d scoff at our offer considering it would be a genuine one.  Plus, we could inform her that Jenn is actually the FourSquare mayor of that Islands, therefore making her royalty in her own right.  I’m not saying it’s comparable, but really both have equal power, which is to say nothing more than bragging rights.  Plus, Jenn and I enjoy discussing world events (mixed in with a discussion about poop or two), so perhaps we could entertain Kate with mostly intelligent conversation.  

Regardless, I strongly feel her highness would enjoy the homey feel of Islands as it may remind her of simpler days, days when she strolled the streets without notoriety, days when she dined with just her family.  Though if she required privacy, I’m sure we could reserve the booth in the back that’s out of view of most patrons.

VERDICT:  SHE’D JOIN US AT ISLANDS

HER PREDICTED ORDER:  The Greek Salad.  But I think she’d politely ask Jenn if she could have a fry or two.  And hopefully she wouldn’t find a screw in the fry basket (sadly, this has happened.)

How Dumb Has Our Political Discourse Become?

In a word:  very.

The White House decided to finally appease Trump and his mentally disabled lemmings by releasing the long form of Obama's birth certificate in an effort to quell the drama otherwise known as the birther movement.  And, of course, Trump is now claiming he's "very proud" of himself for having such influence on the President's decisions, as if this was a real controversy to begin with.

But if the White House thinks the release will make this racist movement disappear, my guess is he's sadly mistaken.  Though I look forward to seeing how much money Trump spends to "analyze" the birth certificate in an effort to see how old it's nooks and crannys are. 

Speaking of birth certificates:  Is this hooplah going to change the culture of how we present identification?  I think it sends a dangerous precedent if people have to release decades old documents to prove they are citizens of this country in order to get something as simple as a blockbuster card (I know these will be useless soon, anyway, but you know what I mean).  After all, I wonder what percentage of American citizens even know where their original birth certificate is?  This is all such a frustrating, tremendous waste of time and I have yet to see even ONE compelling argument as to why any of this is relevant anyway. 

The Corporation of America is One Shitty "Business"

I didn’t really want to give this subject much thought, but as time passes it appears Donald Trump, yes that “you’re fired” dickhead, is gaining relevance in the 2012 presidential election discussion.

But I don’t really want to discuss Trump the man (he’s a fool and isn’t worth serious discussion), but instead would like to comment on why people may consider him a viable candidate.  While listening to talk radio, and even during conversations with my peers, I’ve learned many are under the impression that America should be run like “a business” or that America is “a company.”  And these people are completely missing the entire point of government. 

First off, while corporate interests have great influence within the political community, the federal government is NOT a business.  If it was, it’d be one of the shittiest companies of all time, as it’s not all that amazing at creating profit.  But the purpose of government isn’t to make money and increase the bottom line, the purpose of government is to SERVE its citizens and help create an orderly environment in which everyone has the chance to live free, support one another, and create a stable environment in which society can thrive or, at least, be functional. 

If America was run like a business, then the first order of, well, business, would be to eliminate Medicare and Social Security.  After all, majority of the people taking advantage of these popular programs are retired and no longer are contributing to society in a way that would make a business thrive.  Imagine millions of workers in your office building just dicking around all day, yet still getting paid.  Better yet, might as well round up all these old people and put ‘em off on an ice floe to die so they’d stop eating our shrinking food supply and driving cars that increase our dependence on oil. 

If America were a business, we’d be a lot more imperialistic.  We’d attack Middle Eastern countries simply to control the flow of oil in the name of American profit (something Trump actually wants to do.)  After all, any CEO knows it helps to crush your competitors so the consumer must come to you to buy the product, therefore you can control the price of said product. 

But we don’t do these things because 1) we aren’t a bunch of assholes and have some semblance of compassion 2) the goal of a country isn’t world dominance like it’s a game of Risk. 

So enough of this America is a business nonsense.  It’s not.  It never will be.  It’s a country that should strive to give everyone of its citizens a foundation so one has a chance to achieve a comfortable life.  Our government, for better or worse, is there to protect our interests as a whole and the well being of our people.  Even if you hate government, this is currently its function.  

If America were simply a business, we’d all be on notice…because businesses don’t like anything that resembles extra fat. 

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose!

Nobody watched it. 

I had shit to do this weekend.  But I also just got the final season of one of my all time favorite shows, Friday Night Lights, on DVD.  I expected to watch an episode or two to break up the monotony of the holiday weekend, but, well, 48 hours after I started I watched all twelve and am now spending time writing about it.  

In October of 2006, NBC premiered a show they figured would bridge the gender gap by providing a unique family drama with the world of high school football as a backdrop.  On the heels of H.G. Bissinger’s best selling book and a movie version with a gross that doubled it’s budget, the TV series bearing the same name was sure to have a following. 

But it never did. 

In fact, after two seasons of horrible ratings, and despite incredible critical response,  NBC pulled the plug on the show until DirecTV swooped in to co-finance it, making it their first produced drama to launch their original programming arm (with NBC agreeing to air it during the summer on friday nights). There is a litany of reasons as to why Friday Night Lights never gained viewership, some blame poor marketing, others bad timing, and it’s a shame because Friday Night Lights was easily one of the greatest shows in television history. 

The brains behind the show knew the core to every good story:  great relationships.  And the relationship between Coach Taylor (played by Kyle Chandler) and his wife, Tami (Connie Britton), was probably the most genuine husband/wife relationship I’ve ever seen on screen.  We fell in love with their connection and banter, supported by the showmakers’ decision to create a loose environment in which the scenes were mostly shot with hand-held cameras and the actors were encouraged to ad lib.  The style created a fly on the wall type of atmosphere that let the actors delve into their emotions without the shackles of dialogue points and over direction.  The two effortlessly challenged each other in each scene to create a genuine relationship with emotion that spanned every complexity a human may encounter, and with incredible subtlety that can only come from channeling real life experience without limits. And it caused us to want to spend as much time in their living room as possible. 

Fortunately for us, every other relationship in the show also took advantage of the style, allowing the characters to pull no punches and for the actors to inject their own personality to give their respective characters more life.  And kudos to the casting directors on the show because they really nailed it with each choice.  In addition to this, the creators brought a sleepy town to life even though it was, what most may consider, a “hick” town, full of bias and racial division, that was way too caught up in high school football.  But through the featured characters and the town’s overall passion, a unique atmosphere was created that breathed life and hope into a seemingly dull area.  Much like the island was a character in ABC’s LOST due to its magical elements, Friday Night Lights’s Dillon, Texas became special due to it’s relatability, even for people who never grew up in a small, poor town.

Ironically, one of the show’s “failures” (its exclusion from the main NBC line-up) probably allowed it the freedom to take chances it normally wouldn’t have been able to.  Had the show been a runaway hit, I’m sure the network would have encouraged the creators to keep the cast in tact, probably forcing them to follow the characters once they left high school, causing incongruous storylines that would suffer the same fate as the many shows that did it previously.  But after the third season, the show turned over the majority of the cast (not to mention the setting) to preserve the integrity and the ability to create fresh storylines with completely new characters, while still giving us small glimpses of the old cast in well appreciated bits and pieces.  This could have easily been its shark jumping moment, but instead they used their new tools to create a fantastic companion to the first three seasons, while tying them both together in the final few episodes. 

I’ve recommended the show to many over the years, assuring them it wasn’t just a show about football.  And it wasn’t.  It was about Community. Love. A small town. Pride. And, most of all, the power of family. 

I encourage anyone who has a beating heart and some time to sit down with all five seasons. It's that good.  

USA Today the new TMZ?

The USA Today is considering doing something especially stupid, even for a worthless paper like the USA Today.  

As if there wasn’t enough competition in the news world causing sensationalized stories and skewed views, the USA today is considering providing their reporters bonuses based on webpage views. 

As the linked article mentions, the USA Today isn’t exactly known for their hard hitting, in depth stories, but it is still a nationwide distributed news source that some, probably many, no doubt read to inform them of current events.  It is also no secret that “boring” stories about war, government takeovers, and the environment don’t sell as well as juicy ones regarding celebrities’ sex lives and reality TV.  And while more unnecessary stories about these pointless subjects would be a problem, the bonuses will also no doubt lead to over sensationalized stories filled with exaggeration (no matter if the subject is serious or not), not to mention the fact that the reporter will spend less time reporting and more time marketing themselves to drive traffic to their pages.   Additionally, this move may cause the reporters to inject themselves a little too much in the story (to differentiate themselves from other writers) leading to over-opinionated articles within news stories that were originally intended just to provide facts.  Imagine an entire paper of biased columns instead of regular, informative news articles. 

Now,  you may say that if this sort of thing is what the market wants, then who am I (or anyone) to fight the will of the people.  But this is a load of bullshit.  If we encouraged complete autonomy all the time, the nation’s children would always opt for recess over social studies (and I’m not really talking about kids here.)  The media has an obligation to provide the public with accurate news about the world and encourage people to engage in real issues that effect us both socially and politically.

When we live in a world where Snooki is receiving more money to “speak” at major universities than Toni Morrison, it should be considered another step towards the “Idiocracy” that I personally fear will one day soon be upon us.  And implementing a system where reporters now have to “sell” their stories for money will only push us further in that direction. 

At this rate, I look forward to watching Ass: The Movie somewhere around 2016.