What May 1st Means To Me: I'm Obsessed With Game Of Thrones

You know what this world needs?  More Game Of Thrones.  I understand episodes are expensive to make, so I figured I'd toss out some cheaper ideas for spinoffs that will satisfy the die-hards.  So...

Top Five "Game Of Thrones" Spin-Off Show Ideas!

5) Will It Burn?

You know the webshow "Will It Blend?"  The 5-minute bit where a guy takes random objects, throws them in his blender, and sees if it'll, well, blend?

Well, how about a few minutes of watching one of the Khaleesi's dragons burn an iPad?

I got this

It burns!

4)  Who's The Bigger Asshole!  Hosted By King Joffrey.

A competition-style gameshow in front of a live studio audience.  Two characters are pitted against eachother, and make their case as to why they are the bigger asshole.  Afterwards, the audience considers the arguments and votes.  The twist is that....the audience always votes for Joffrey.

And each time Joffrey can feign surprise while delivering the catchphrase, "Wait...I'm the biggest asshole?" followed by a laugh.

3) Battle Of The Network Stars - GOT version

You know what I really want to see?  The Starks, Lannisters, Dothraki, and Whitewalkers compete in a canoe race.  Or a 500-meter swimming relay.  I want to watch Jon Snow attempt a pole vault.  Who would be the anchor for the Stark's tug-of-war team? 

2) Project Runway - The Seven Kingdoms

A Fashion competition starring Arya, Briene, Sansa, Dany, Cersei, and Renly (RIP). 



Does This Armor Make My Ass Look Fat?

Yes.

DIE!

Lulz

Petty Children

1) Reading Rainbow with Tyrion

Tyrion reading "The Little Engine That Could" to a bunch of 3-year-olds?   

Yes, I'm reading. But I'm really figuring out a way to blackmail all of you.  And, rest assured, I will.

All day.