I had the flu.
For six days.
I watched a lot of TV.
There's a lot of shit on TV
Thank God for endless channels...
...So I could watch ALL THE SHIT on TV.
So...Here's the TOP FIVE THINGS I WATCHED WHILE HAVING THE FLU.
5) 49ers Vs. Patriots - Sunday Night Football.
Normally, I suck at Fantasy Football. Seriously, I suck at it. Which is ironic because of how much I love football. But this year, I didn't suck at it. My team was rather good. In fact, so good that I found myself in the semi finals. Now, generally I don't care too much about fantasy football (which might explain why I'm shit at it), I'm much more concerned with the plight of the Denver Broncos, but when the money is in sight, well you start to care. Anyway, during this semi-final match, the score was tied going into the Sunday Night game. I had Wes Welker going, he had Frank Gore. I thought I had it in the bag. I didn't. And each time Gore touched the ball, there was a nice, sharp pain in between my testicles. Fuck fantasy football.
4) Sister Act Two: Back In The Habit
And this was on a few times.
I haven't seen this movie since it was originally released on cable, and its amazing how much I retained. Probably because I think the last line of the movie is one of the best closing line's in movie history. I'm being serious.
Essentially the sequel is about Las Vegas lounge singer, Whoopi Goldberg, once again, pretending she's a nun to get a pack of rabblerousing, yet talented inner city teens in line to become a functional choir (or something like that). And then by the end of the movie, Whoopi has them rappinig "ya down with G-O-D, yeah you know me!" Yeah, seriously. But it was the early 90's, so totally acceptable. Anyway, after the kids win the competition, one of them, Ahmad or something, calls out Whoopi and asks if she's a "Las Vegas showgirl" and Whoopi gets all Whoopi on him and says, "I am not, nor have I ever been, my dear Ahmad, a Las Vegas showgirl....I....am a headliner." And she does this with a confident twirl of her finger. It was the ultimate "dont fuck with Whoopi moment." Then it fades to an end credits scene where the kids sing, "Ain't No Mountain High Enough."
Another tidbit about this movie: When I originally watched in on cable in, say 1994, my father didn't believe the main girl's voice was real because "if it was real, she'd be famous." The girl is Lauryn Hill. And, of course, she become famous. Nice one, Dad.
And now I've officially written more about Sister Act 2 than anyone has in like 20 years.
3) Re-Runs of Seinfeld
2) Catfish: The TV Show.
You guys ever watch Catfish: The Movie? If you liked that, you'll LOVE Catfish: The TV Show. It's my current obsession. Essentially, it's about poor innocents who fall in love with dubious people online, and then with the help of the filmmkers behind the show, finally confront them. Oh, and they are always so optimistic, the poor things. But of course, the other person is always lying about their appearance (they are generally fat). It's amazing to me that people, adults, have these all encompassing online relationships full well knowing that, at some point, the truth will come out and it'll all fall apart. And its equally amazing to find there are actually people who think they're talking to supermodels that have a dysfunctional Skype.
1) This Real Sports Segment
Remember Dominique Moceanu?
Now you do. And Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel relayed this amazing story about her.
During Dominique's quest for gold in 1996, there was a young girl named Jen that idolized her. So much so that she wanted to take up gymnastics just so she could be like Dominique. Just one thing: Jen was born without legs. But, despite her limitations, she took up gymnastics and quickly figured out how to tumble. In fact, she got so good at it that she went on to become a tumbling champion of some sort.
That's not the amazing part.
It turns out that Jen had been given up for adoption after birth (because her parents didn't want to deal with a special needs child). When she was a teenager, she became curious about her birth parents and asked her mother and father if they knew anything about them. Well, they did. And it turns out that her original last name was Moceanu, and that Dominique was her biological sister. Fucking weird right? What are the chances your childhood idol is actually your biological sister you've never once met? Now, go to the Google and watch the segment.
There ya have it.
I probably should have just rented season one of Homeland so people would get off my back for not watching it. Oh well..