Wednesday, November 23, 2011

What November 16th-23rd Means To Me: Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is, without question, my favorite holiday on the calendar.  But before I get into that, one of the pleasures of blogging is noticing how random people come across your blog.  On blogspot, they allow you to view what google searches lead a viewer to your posts.  I should probably do an entire post just based on this because they are often hilarious, but here are a few from today:

1) "Kim Kardashian's Fartbox"  -  Yes, at your service, Mr. Fartbox locater.  Or Miss.  I just have to question what this person was looking for.  If he was in search of pics of Kim's plump bottom, why not just google "Kim Kardashian's ass"?  Was he trying to make himself laugh?  Was he looking for Kim jokes?  What a mystery.  Either way, I'm sure he was disappointed when my post on Kim didn't even include a picture, but thanks for the click anyway, and I hope you found what you're looking for. 

2) "NFL Cheerleaders Short Skirts I Want" -

The more I think about this google search, the more perplexed I become.  I can understand why he'd want to look for NFL cheerleaders in short skirts, though I must admit it seems tame by today's standards (after all, 2 girls/1 cup does exist), but it's the "I WANT" that I don't quite understand.  Did he think that by demanding the NFL cheerleader in his Google search, he would be provided a link where he could order one?  Like some special unknown section of Amazon?  (don't click that).  Google ain't that good, son.  Either way, I hope I have another satisfied customer. 

3) "Bachmann Asshole" - I actually get this one a lot due to a post a few months ago where I called Michele Bachmann an asshole.  Thank you, America.  You're quickly restoring my faith.  And, yes, she's still an asshole. 

Anyway, back to the point of the post, and speaking of America, Thanksgiving! 

I can't say "Thanksgiving" without thinking of the above.  But, really, for a social retard like me, what's better than Thanksgiving?  It's a holiday that involves essentially zero social expectation, and in fact, probably promotes being a slob.  You get together with family and friends, gorge, and then sit around complaining that you're full, how you can't move, and how you're tired (I love complaining about being tired, and here's an entire holiday where I can do so!  Brilliant!).  There's no going out, there's no costume, there's no staying up late, there's no need for a date, there's no pressure for a kiss at midnight, nothing.  It's perfect!  You eat bird, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes (yum), lots of pie, followed by a whole lot of smiling.  Oh, and you can watch football all day.  My fucking God, what a holiday.  Every other holiday should pray to Thanksgiving and ask how it, too, can be so cool. 

Anyway, hope everyone enjoys it, is safe, has a good time with family and friends...and keep those google searches comin!

Happy Thanksgiving!


  1. Pretty sure the fartbox search hit was a result of one of my comments. Which you derided.

    Your welcome.

  2. HA Def a possibility. Thank you for your support :)