I'll stick to what I'm good at:
|Meaningless, annoying noise|
So, in case you don't know how this works, I dig into the blog's stats page and discuss some of the Google searches that lead wayward readers to my humble musings. And there are some good ones this week, so let's begin!
1) Skin Flaking In Anal Region
Dr Brett says ...
Use more lube?
I often get these medical searches and feel bad when these frustrated people find themselves on my blog.
As far as this one is concerned...all I can say is that I'm really sorry. I wonder if the searcher got excited when they saw the title of my blog and was all "FINALLY! A WHOLE WEBSITE DEDICATED TO MY FLAKING ANUS PROBLEM!" Then they clicked it and was subjected to my BS. However, I think "skin flaking in the anal region" is probably a fantastic metaphor for my writing. Either way, because of what I just typed, I look forward to finding a "FLAKING ANUS PROBLEM" search in the coming weeks.
2) I'll Pick You Up At A Whole Ordeal
|I'm with you, Blanche|
3) This Girl Named Whitney Long Blonde Hair With Blue Eyes And Works
I have no clue who this person is searching for, but I hope its some random girl he stood behind in line at Target. Like I picture this dude staring at a beautiful girl and thinking, "how can I talk to her..what's she buying? Maybe I can start up a conversation about that...toilet paper? Hmm...I could suggest a softer brand, but she probably doesn't want to hear about the skin flaking in my anal region." Then her phone rings and she answers, "Hey, it's Whitney...no, I can't, I have to work today." And with that, she was out of his life. To the Google, he thinks! After all, what's not to love? She has long blonde hair (woo!), blue eyes (woo!)...and a job! (triple woo!). I'm sure he'll find her.
4) Fuck Old People Hard
I don't want to know.
5) Fuuuuuck You Denmark You're Gay
C'mon, Dad, stop using Google.
It's just weird to me that someone would type in that search. Like, if you had a negative experience in Denmark (and judging by all the U's, let's assume they did), why not type in "bad experiences in Denmark" or even "Denmark sucks." Then again, maybe the guy standing behind Whitney in line at Target was named "Denmark," and that's just her response to him. She's mean.
6) Brett Sills Sucks
This Weeks Most Popular Search?
|Still got it|
Have a great weekend everyone.