Tuesday, January 3, 2012

What January 1st-3rd Means To Me: Weekend and New Year Thoughts

Happy new year, everyone.  Here are my pointless observations of the weekend:

Hey, so I guess another New Year's Happened:

Same Old Shit. 

New Years is one of those holidays that makes me wonder about humanity.  Many consider January 1st as some sort of "fresh start," as if the clock striking midnight actually eliminates any sort of problems you had only minutes before.  It doesn't.  That said, there is something cathartic about watching the ball drop, and something mildly intoxicating about the communal celebration of the New Year.  It's just strange that people wait till this day to find a sense of false motivation ... which leads me to...


Ah yes, the gym cup hath runneth over with new people in search of a better body in 2012.  I've discussed them before, and true to form, there they were early Monday morning blocking me from the front desk with all their sign ups and questions.  I could just see them all only a week earlier, staring down that 4th piece of cake while commenting to their friend, "well, might as well enjoy it now, because I'm gonna start dieting after New Years!!!   TEEEE HEEEEEEE HAAAA HAAAAAAA!"  Then, I figure they both sponteanously sing RESOLUTION to the tune of that "Revoltution" song from the early 90's. You know the one I'm talking about?  Unfortunately YouTube doesn't either, but I swear it exists. 

Regardless, these people are generally gone by February and the gym returns to normal. 


Just about midnight on the East Coast, an old buddy of mine texted to inform me it was the 10 year anniversary of the time he had horrible diarrhea on New Years.  If anything is worthy of celebration, I suppose this is it.  That evening, a decade ag,o starting innocently enough, with his purchasing of an egg salad sandwich at a diner, and ended a few hours later with a whirlwind search for an available toilet. After deciding the line for the bathroom at the club was too long, after being denied by the local McDonalds who told him he'd have to buy something first, after a futile search for a vacant alley to do this business, he decided to cut the long line for the club bathroom and deal with the consequences (which apparently was a minute long tirade courtesy of the people he cut).  For me, that night, I spotted a cute girl that I had been waiting hours to talk to.  Finally, she freed herself long enough from her friends for me to engage her in conversation, but that fateful conversation was soon rudely interrupted by my sick buddy, post poo, slamming me on the shoulder while saying "WE'RE GOING!"  I turned to the girl, shrugged, and said "duty calls," a double entendre that was only humorous to me.  I still tell him, to this day, that I'd probably have married that girl, and he ruined everything.

Anyway, that friend is now married with two kids (and another one the way), but I'm still pleased that his first thought this past New Years was not to kiss his wife or children, but to text me about a shit he took ten years ago.


A few days ago I was hating on recent commercials, but wanted to mention two more.

Time Warner Commercial Where Guy Oversleeps: 

I'm not sure if this commercial is local, but it has to be the most retarded thing airing on television. In the ad, a sleeping guy is rudely awaken by a phone call informing him that people are "at the gate" (his house?) and that he "better have the presentation ready."  Panicked, he quickly jumps out of bed, downloads three things (what could this have to do with a presentation?) and gets dressed.  Then, he rushes back to his computer to put the finishing touches on his "presentation," which is the downloading of what appears to be ... a movie ticket! Yes, a movie ticket! What a strange presentation! What does this guy do for a living, I'm dying to know. 

My guess is (well, I hope) that this was some kind of stock footage and the "presentation" bit was stupidly added afterwards.  It's the only explanation.  Either way, they couldn't come up with anything better to show that the Time Warner cable modem is fast? 

Sloane From Entourage...Is This The Only Work You Can Get?

There's a national Budweiser/NBA ad featuring two rappers (who I guess I'm supposed to know?) that excitedly sing about Budweiser to the tune of "12 Days Of Christmas."  Anyway, the commercial features festive set pieces with the two dudes singing, and Luke Wilson chiming in every so often (about basketball and beer or something).   Interestingly, two of the frames feature Emmanuelle Chriqui (Sloane) simply pointing at people with this nod that suggests "yeah, that's right."   And that's it.  It's one of those strange moments because she's instantly recognizable, yet filling the role of some glorified extra  Get that money made, I suppose.

Oh yeah, it was hot in LA this weekend.  I love 80 degree weather in January.

Keep Calm And Carry On.

1 comment:

  1. i've been looking for a new gym but i refuse to look until this resolutionist era is over.