Friday, October 12, 2012

Top Five Reasons This Actor Should Be President

We're in the midst of debate season, and everyone's got politics on the brain.  But it seems like every four years, America renews a tradition of having strong opinions about the candidates, while simultaneously distrusting them, and wishing there was someone else they could throw their support behind. Well, during last night's debate, VP hopeful Paul Ryan mentioned he thought there were many fine people in this country capable of being President of the United States.  And though we don't agree on much, we agree on that. So, if I may, I'd like to suggest one:

This Guy.
Ben Whofleck?  Ben Affleck.  For years I half-joked that there should be an Affleck/Damon ticket in 2024, after all, the idea of an actor as President isn't exactly far-fetched (hello Ronald Reagan).  And why not Ben Affleck?  He's smart, he's well spoken, he has conviction and charisma, and c'mon, the man's handsome!  If he was on the campaign trail, women would toss their babies aside so they could kiss the candidate.  And, yes, America ditched him in 2003, but baby, he's just directed an apparent Oscar shoe-in. His third critically acclaimed flick in a row. He's back.


5) Foreign Policy? He's Already Saved The World.

In the Summer of 1998, the world faced a sudden crisis that threatened our entire existence.  With only 18 days notice, NASA scientists discovered a Texas-sized asteroid on a collision course with Earth, and they didn't have a reasonable plan to destroy it. After a fragment of the large projectile entered the atmosphere, and destroyed the Chinese city of Shanghai, the American government called upon an unexpected bunch of heroes ripe for the challenge.

Obviously, they succeeded.  And, miraculously, this was all caught on tape.  What a campaign commercial this would make.

4) That Faccia

Stop it.

Considering his acting background, we know Ben can deliver a speech.  We know he would shine in a debate format.  But would he be a good negotiator with world leaders?  Would he be able to get, for example, Vladimir Putin to see eye to eye with him?  C'mon, look at him!  Who's really gonna say "no" to him?

3) Apparently, He's Really Good At Poker

Here's a little fact about Ben Affleck:  In 2004, he WON the California State Poker Championship.  Won it! Where the hell does someone as busy as Ben find the time?  Hello, multi-tasker! I'd like to think he's just a gifted son-of-a-bitch.  Like one of those professional athletes that can also play classical piano. And I'm sitting here in my living trying to think of one thing I'm decent at.  Anyway, poker players are keen at picking up on bullshit, and also doling it out.  And what says politics more than someone who knows their way around bullshit?!

2) He's A Wizard


1) Things Like This Exist

It's not secret that many pick their professions to feed their ego.  While some politicians truly have their community at heart, it's obvious that others stay in politics because they like the attention, and its another way to step into the limelight (especially nerds!)  So I do take pause when famous actors partake in political causes because, of all people, they don't need the attention and, if anything, it takes them away from the public admiration because Americans are as allergic to politics as they are rattlesnake bites. In fact, many roll their eyes when they listen to celebrities talk about their political causes while adopting this "you think you're better than me?" mentality.  It suggests, to me, that said celebrities actually care about their causes. 

But Ben has often stuck his foot into the political arena, in fact, many people I speak to are shocked when I mention how thoughtful and smart he is on political shows such as "Real Time With Bill Maher." He holds his own. He seems to have the true populist passion that this country currently desires (and needs), and has had enough experience within a cutthroat world to transition into politics.  Also, if you've seen his past two movies (and, at least, read the reviews of his latest), you know he's a smart guy with an interest in American history, both political and otherwise.  Can you imagine George Bush effectively pulling off a movie like Argo?  Of course not.  He's a moron.  

So, is Ben Affleck truly qualified to become President?  No.  But either is Mitt Romney, or tons of other candidates that have come before him. The job is too unique.  In fact, there are only two eligible people on this entire Earth who are truly qualified to run the United States, and that's Barack Obama and Bush Sr. because they've actually had the job in the past, and still have a term left. 

So, let Ben learn on the job!  Let him flex the political muscle.  

Am I kidding?  I don't even know anymore.  Regardless, looking forward to Argo this weekend!

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